Testing, testing

Yesterday, H sat me down in her little chair next to her diminutive table and served me what she called silly tea. I'm not sure why she thought it was silly, but it was funny to watch her get each dish out of her play kitchen cabinet and set it on the table in front of me. When every single dish was out, she said, "I'll be right back," and ran out of the room.

Half a minute went by. "H...? Are you there?"

"Just a minute," was the reply. Then, finally, she ran back in, picked up her tea cup, and said "cheers!"

Any guesses what that was about? Yup, it was a perfect imitation of me - setting the table for dinner, settling her in, then leaving to test my blood sugar.

Growing up, I always tested in the bathroom before meals. It was sort of something I had to keep to myself. In the early years, I needed a big space to lay out all the paraphernalia - strips, huge lancets (ouch!), cotton balls to wipe the strip at exactly 30 seconds (no meter!), alcohol swabs, and the big test strip container to compare my results against.

Even when meters came along, and eventually got smaller, I still slipped off to the bathroom every time. I was always worried what other people would think about it. I know some people don't like the sight of blood; others don't like needles; still others just don't like it when people do something unusual in public. The latter never seemed a good enough reason to hide, to me, but the first two did. I guess I also didn't want people to focus on my diabetes, even though virtually everyone I was with knew I had it. It was easier, socially, to to the the loo - like everyone else did. Fitting in was really important to me when I was a teen and young adult.

But, during pregnancy, I got more comfortable whipping out the meter and, while not being blatant about it, testing right where I was, whenever I needed to test. I figured, better that than have me pass out! Besides, how many restrooms have you been in where there isn't a single surface to put a meter down on? I love the ones with little flat trays in the stalls, but so often it's the stupid round paper holder. No one asked us when they designed these places, did they? Even the handicapped stalls are no use. My own lap is the best spot, usually. I felt so liberated.

Now, I'm a lot more comfortable with testing in public - still not purposing putting it in anyone's face, but testing nonetheless, at a restaurant table, on a park bench, on a bus or train. And if anyone wants to comment, I'll give them an earful! (I felt that way when I once ate food on the D.C. metro - where eating is forbidden - but that's another story!)

I also do test in front of my daughter all the time (and she still doesn't bat a lash, though she definitely watches me doing it). But when the table's all set, I usually have to leave the kitchen anyway to get the meter from my purse, and find a spot to put the meter down, so I end up leaving the room - only briefly, it seems to me, but I guess it seems like longer to her.

I wonder, was I just overly cautious all those years, or does anyone else get nervous about testing in public? Maybe, for anyone who's only had to use the relatively tiny meters, it's not such a big deal - or is it?