Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I'm baaack

I seem to have been lost temporarily in blogger limbo - that is, I was locked out of my account for a while (check out the slew of messages on this topic in Google blogger help!). For some unclear reason I've just been allowed back on, so I'll take the opportunity to update briefly, but my apologies for the outage.

Lots of little diabetes-related scenarios pop up with H these days. Like, yesterday, I had my pump infusion set in my upper arm (part of my rotation to restore my abdominal tissue). H gave be a big hug, which evolved into climbing me, and she grabbed my arm and tore the infusion set out. I yelled, "Ow, ow, ow!, Stop!" - too late, but she did stop, and when I explained that she shouldn't touch the thing on my arm, and I was sorry to yell, but it hurt, she said, "Sorry, Mommy," gave me a light hug, and went on playing.

Of course, I felt guilty immediately for yelling, but that combination of pain and fear of whether I could get another infusion set to go in my arm made me a little sharp. I don't want her to think I'm as delicate as china - that she shouldn't hug me! But I do want her to be careful when, unfortunately, I have to put my infusion set in such an exposed spot (I bang it on doorways all the time, too!). I suspect she doesn't think of it as a big deal - just part of life with mommy.

H doesn't bat an eye when I test my sugar, even at the kitchen table. But she does want to eat whatever I'm eating, which includes glucose tablets (no, I didn't share those!). When I told her recently that it was medicine, she said, "I want medicine, too!" I ended up saying she didn't need medicine because she wasn't sick, and she dropped the subject. The only "sick" she's ever experienced has been viral, so she probably thinks my "sick" is just temporary. I'm sure the day will come when I have to explain it's long term, but something I can live with - but that day hasn't come yet.

Since it's 5 am, I have to go - but I hope I'll be back soon!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Vacation time

This is the time when we finally get to rest - the last vacation before Fall. In some ways, it has been: I've taken H to the beach, to a pond, to pools; we've eaten fresh corn and fruit, and tomatoes and cucumbers from our own garden; we've been pretty lazy. Not to say we haven't exercised - oh, yes, we have! It just didn't feel like work, you know? Not, Oh, I have to fit in some exercise now. It just happened in the course of having fun.

I've still been too busy, working (work work) during nap times, prepping for the birthday party and for the first day of preschool (yikes!), both happening within a couple of weeks. My diabetes care once again is taking a back seat - I try to follow my usual rules - eating certain things and not others, testing often and adjusting accordingly at the moment - but otherwise I'm not really keeping track. That's the honest truth: Sometimes I run on autopilot, and I just hope that my years of trying to have good habits pulls me through. I know that I have to really think about my numbers -- you know, look for patterns -- to avoid swinging suddenly out of control. But I also know I can go for a week or two without doing that, and usually get away with it. And sometimes my brain is just too full (cue the far Side cartoon).

Maybe by the end of my vacation I'll find some time to remotivate. Ironically, it's precisely because I'm not able to get a truly relaxing vacation that I'm taking a sort of vacation from my diabetes. But no, I never truly do that - never go on binges (I haven't in many years, the consequences are just too painful) or stop testing; in fact, I test more often when I can't stop to think about it, just to be sure I still keep on track.