Dream a (fabulous) little dream - life after a cure

Here's the call put out by Karen: To wrap up Diabetes Blog Week, let’s pretend a cure has been found. We are all given a tiny little pill to swallow and *poof* our pancreases are back in working order. No side effects. No more insulin resistance. No more diabetes. Tell us what your life is now like. Or take us through your first day celebrating life without the Big D. Blog about how you imagine you would feel if you no longer were a Person With Diabetes.

I'm glad the idea isn't to imagine what my life would be like now if I hadn't ever had diabetes. Of course, I've thought about that, too. But who knows what I would have done differently - if anything. By the principle of the butterfly effect, my life might be completely different (and maybe the whole world!).

Rather than follow Aston Kutcher's footsteps, we get to imagine that - poof - diabetes suddenly doesn't exist. Would I go get my commercial pilot's licence? Become a deep-sea diver? Buy my own ice cream shop and work my way through the stock myself?

Actually, I had a bitter-sweet taste of this sort of euphoria when I went on the pump - I was told I could eat basically anything I wanted, as long as I bolused for it properly. Well, that was sort of true - at least before pregnancy. I did find there was a limit to what the pump could handle. (Side note: The so-called "artificial pancreas," as one poorly-informed journalist called it, is so far from the cure that most nondiabetics think it is, I just want to scream. But that's another post topic!)

So no, Virginia, there's no cure yet. And, being a realist and medical writer, I know that any cure, even a "real" one, will likely come with some residual limitations - like having to take antirejection drugs (Although less toxic forms are out now, and maybe even less toxic ones will come along). But if there were a true cure, and once I got over the complete shock and utter joy, disbelief, and relief - mostly relief at not having to worry about it anymore, both in the short term and the long term - I would probably still do most of what I do now, just without all the extra frustration, time, and expense. I sure could use that extra time and money. I've estimated that we could take a lavish tropical vacation every year on what I now spend on my diabetes - and I know I have the best possible insurance coverage (in our current health care system). Well, these days it would probably be a trip to Disney World.

I would, however, consider working less at my day job and trying to write a book. That's my real dream, but right now I can't imagine risking losing my insurance. Hubby's insurance has always been decent but less than what I have, and less certain of staying the same. I'm not a huge risk taker by nature, but I like to think a big part of that is because of the diabetes, and insurance system. I spent some time in Australia during college, and besides going bungee jumping and hang gliding, and travelling all over Southeast Asia and the Pacific, I had - gasp - all my diabetes supplies covered, with almost no expense, because of the Australian health care system. I've always kept it in the back of my mind that I could go back there if things got really bad here. But it's a long way away, and family is a tie that I'd hate to break, especially with a small kid.

I've got to say, I haven't let diabetes keep me from doing most of the things I wanted to do in life, up to this point (except for writing books). Any maybe because of that, a lot of people I know don't realize what a huge impact it still has on my life. I'd be a different person - more relaxed, able to take some more chances, and more hopeful about my future and my family's future. This would actually be the best point in my life for the big D to Disappear, because I'm the most stretched I've ever been, as a working mom. They say adversity gives you character - but I've got plenty of that now, thank you!

Thanks to Karen again for this opportunity. I'm still making my way through all the DBW posts, and will be for some time. I'm learning so much from you all - both little ideas of different things to try in my daily routine, and also some completely different perspectives that are well worth thinking about.