Pandemic Panic

With any luck, tomorrow I will wait in a long line and get the seasonal flu shot at a local pharmacy. I missed the clinic at work (I was working from home). Then the local grocery store’s clinic ran out by the time I got there. I thought it would be no problem, as usual, to get one at my doctor’s, but it turns out they’re not making it available, either (whether they actually have any or not, I can’t tell; I got different messages from different secretaries).

I’m pretty nervous because the last time I didn’t get a flu shot (about 19 years ago), I was hospitalized. Now, I’m not even talking about H1N1 (formerly/sometimes known as swine flu). I won’t be able to get the first round of that vaccine that’s available because it’s live-attenuated, so folks like me with abnormal immune systems aren’t supposed to get it. We – who are among the most at risk – must wait. I’ll be sure to get my daughter vaccinated ASAP, with whatever is available. At least she can get the live-attenuated vaccine; she’s healthy, thankfully.

I’m always surprised to hear people say they don’t get flu shots because they’re afraid they’ll make them sick – or it’s made them sick in the past. Yes, there have been odd reactions, as there are to virtually anything out there, from drugs to herbals to foods to bug bites. And for most people, getting the flu is bad, but not usually life-threatening (although it can be even for healthy people). So maybe the risk/benefit ratio is not so strongly in favor of vaccination for them. But I’ve had the shots for almost 20 years running, and all I get is a woozy head for half a day and a sore arm for one or two days. Now, oddly, with H1N1 in the news, people apparently are rushing to get the regular vaccine – leaving those of us who usually get it, and most need it, in the lurch. What a mess.

Still, the regular flu doesn’t usually hit its stride until January or so. In fact, in recent years we’ve been hit with seasonal flu in March or even April (I’ve gotten a little bit sick, but not as badly as I would have if I hadn’t been vaccinated). I think I’ll get that shot in time.

I am far more worried about getting the H1N1 vaccine in time, because that flu is circulating now. Lots of things kill people every day, and it turns out even healthy young people might get really sick (or worse) from this new virus. But I know just how quickly I can go from appearing absolutely, perfectly healthy to being extremely sick. Once, when I got a kidney infection, I waiting for two hours in the emergency room before throwing up on myself repeatedly. Then, the nurse chastised me for not coming in sooner. They’d taken one look at me in triage and saw a seemingly healthy young woman. But appearances can, of course, be horribly misleading. Anything that hits an otherwise-healthy person hard hits me at least 3 times as hard.

If only I were more OCD, I’d be able to get through this with just obsessive hand washing. But I can’t seem to avoid putting my hands on my face all the time after touching things, and even though I do wash my hands regularly, it’s probably not enough for these circumstances.

And now, of course, it’s not just me that I worry about if I were to get sick, it’s my daughter, and my husband. Hero that he is, he’s offered to get whatever vaccines he can to protect me and our daughter, even though he normally wouldn’t get any flu shots. And if he can get the live-attenuated vaccine, but I can’t, that’ll still help me. So thank you, dear!