Thursday, October 22, 2009

What does she see?

By now, I had expected my daughter would have asked about some of my "diabetes paraphernalia," like my glucose monitor, which I use all the time in front of her, or my insulin pump, the tubing for which often gets pulled out of my pocket.

My daughter notices everything else. When someone is hammering in the house next door, she asks "What's that?" When the tea kettle whistles, she asks, "What's that?" When she sees a new book, she asks "What's that?"

But when I pull my pump out of my pocket, and the tubing hangs out, and I plug in the insulin delivery with several beeps, she doesn't particularly look - nor does she clearly avoid looking at it. I guess she just figures that's part of her mommy, and Mommy is such a special person that she gets to be a little different from everyone else. I'm not boasting here; I think most moms know that Mommy is special to their kids - it's part of the job. I just know that it's going to come up at some point - the questions.

A week or so ago, my husband, daughter, and I were driving to eat lunch out, and I pulled my meter out. Now, I used to stick my finger with a straight lancet, without the "clicker." I didn't like the anticipation between when I pressed the button and when the lancet hit the skin, and I didn't like not having complete control on how far it penetrated - i.e., how much it hurt. But since having a baby, I haven't wanted to risk loose little lancets lurking around. So I've made myself get used to the clicker. Also, my fingers are calloused enough, after all the testing I've done during and after pregnancy, that it doesn't hurt so much.

So my husband is used to me calling out, as he's driving, "Okay, I'm about to do it, so no sudden stops." This time, he said himself, "Wait, I'm about to stop." I said, "It's okay, you don't have to worry anymore about that..." The little voice from the backseat chimed in, "It's okay Daddy, don't have to worry." We know she's paying attention. I think it's just a matter of time before she decides how to comment.

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